Depression and Death

I wish I was dead. Ally Azuna ain't much. But I guess you say that's me. I was a dancer and a singer, long time ago....I guess I just haven't scheduled any shows. My stage name is "Miasma" or well, only because of my initials.

My brother is being a bitch. My sister won't stop pondering me. My kids and husband want everything to do with me.

"What's depression like?" My brother, Xevier, asked.
"It's like drowning. Except you can see everyone around you breathing." I responded.
My twin sister, Winter, knows about it but my older brother just doesn't give a damn.

I keep running and running away from life and the people in it. Sometimes I want nothing to do with them. I've had suicide attempts. Never worked only because I'm immortal. Gah!

Sometimes I feel like people are trying to get rid of me. My Aunt's trying to kill me, my brother don't give a damn, my sister doesn't really see it.

I hid myself in the corner of an alley and sat down. And cried. And cried. And cried. I took out one of the knives that were in my shoes, don't ask me how it's possible, you just get used to it. And did to myself what was invisible to everybody else. "Don't ask me why I do this....." I hear footsteps.
"Ally!" Winter's voice. "STOP! GIVE IT TO ME!"
"NO!" They didn't understand. "I'm tired to trying, sick of crying, yea I'm still smiling but inside I'm dying!" I turned around, letting the knife drop to my foot.
"Why is our parents death driving you insane?!" Xevier yapped.
Marley, my aunt, murdered them. I always thought that we'd grow as a family...But nooo...

"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SEE YOUR PARENTS DIE BEFORE YOUR EYES!"  I blurted. I looked down. "There exists a time and a place where I'm older than you." I started to turn invisible.

"It's surprising that you two are twins..." He said, not aware that I was still here. "Your so calm and she's so 'kill everyone'."
If you do not understand the reference...There is an HU song called Kill Everyone.
Winter shrugged. "We might as well leave."

I want to go home, but there's not really anyone waiting there for me.

There used to be a boy at school who always ran home. He got his stuff and ran. Everyone made fun of him. He ran, hoping his little sister hadn't killed herself.
One day, he didn't come back. He was back after a week.
He stopped running.

I guess I was the only one who knew what he was going through.
But well, why can't we stop putting labels on everything.  People, in school, decided to label me as "emo". So I embraced that label. It's now who I am. And you can't change it. You had the mother fucking chance to.

But you failed.

I guess I'm always like the moon---part of me always hidden away...
I'm driving myself insane. There's a war inside my head. I wish I was dead.

Forever, my Dad, told me that:
Love Hurts. Friends Cry. People Die.

I can't fucking take it anymore.

People say suicide is stupid. I'll tell you whats fucking stupid. Making people break down so badly that they think suicide is the only answer.

I may be happy and smiling but inside, my soul is screaming. My scars are my stories,  my history written in my blood.

In my blood....In my blood....In my blood.....Histories marked on skin.